The Center of the Universe

Ben gave me a copy of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close in exchange for my copy of Special Topics in Calamity Physics and there couldn't be a book in the world that more perfectly fits my feelings right now. There are certain books and certain songs and certain films that fit against our hearts like puzzle pieces and this book fits almost too perfectly as I've spilled tears on at least one page out of every three. Today I was reading about the Dresden bombings, cheeks salty with tears, when I looked up and realized that we were sitting at the Dresden train station.

There are so many things that I never think about.

Last night, sitting in the darkened kitchen, clock ticking heavily, we were discussing global warming and the end of the world and Ben asked me what consumes my thoughts when I'm alone. I couldn't tell him the truth and I couldn't tell him a lie so I didn't say anything at all. The world is larger than myself and it's taken me twenty-five years to notice.